Click on the photo below for a slideshow.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Latest hair growth update
I am quite proud of my current hair growth.
Click on the photo below for a slideshow.
Click on the photo below for a slideshow.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Inspiring
If I have posted about this before, please forgive me.
I chat on some online forums with other breast cancer patients and find it helpful to get reassurance, information, feel like you're not the only one going through this stuff (which sadly, we are very much not).
I get a few private messages every now and then from some lovely ladies who tell me that they appreciate my outlook, attitude and find me an 'inspiration'.
Now, don't get me wrong, I am really pleased that they find what I write supportive and helpful. I hope, if nothing else, to show that all is not doom and gloom after that initial scary diagnosis, that the journey is a road that can be travelled without the worst happening to you, that some semblance of normality can continue throughout and afterwards (am I at the afterwards yet? More or less, I suppose!).
But I really don't want to feel responsible for anyone elses emotional journey. I'm having a down day, and I don't want to feel inhibited about expressing that. I know that I will bounce back pretty quick, but I have to be 'allowed' my down days and not feel that I have to keep up a cheerful front for anyone else's sake. And I don't. I won't.
To anyone reading this going through the same/similar, all I can advise is go with it. Feel what you feel. Allow yourself. Don't expect the worst or the best, but don't imagine the worst either. Flow.
I cried on the doctor and the nurse today. I phoned Greg and cried down the phone at him. I sulked on the phone to my parents this evening. But tomorrow I will gather myself up, be grateful that things are not a lot worse, and get on with life. What else is there to do?
I chat on some online forums with other breast cancer patients and find it helpful to get reassurance, information, feel like you're not the only one going through this stuff (which sadly, we are very much not).
I get a few private messages every now and then from some lovely ladies who tell me that they appreciate my outlook, attitude and find me an 'inspiration'.
Now, don't get me wrong, I am really pleased that they find what I write supportive and helpful. I hope, if nothing else, to show that all is not doom and gloom after that initial scary diagnosis, that the journey is a road that can be travelled without the worst happening to you, that some semblance of normality can continue throughout and afterwards (am I at the afterwards yet? More or less, I suppose!).
But I really don't want to feel responsible for anyone elses emotional journey. I'm having a down day, and I don't want to feel inhibited about expressing that. I know that I will bounce back pretty quick, but I have to be 'allowed' my down days and not feel that I have to keep up a cheerful front for anyone else's sake. And I don't. I won't.
To anyone reading this going through the same/similar, all I can advise is go with it. Feel what you feel. Allow yourself. Don't expect the worst or the best, but don't imagine the worst either. Flow.
I cried on the doctor and the nurse today. I phoned Greg and cried down the phone at him. I sulked on the phone to my parents this evening. But tomorrow I will gather myself up, be grateful that things are not a lot worse, and get on with life. What else is there to do?
And I was doing so well...
As reported yesterday, today I had an appointment with the oncologist. Dr Iqbal is at a conference in America so I saw another lady, very nice, but not one I have seen before. I also did not know the breast cancer nurse who was in attendance, which is a shame as Michelle - the regular nurse - is so lovely and I feel so much more of a connection with her. Today's appointment was apparently to follow up on Herceptin treatment and to consider the results of last week's MUGA heart scan.
And the results? Not good. :-(
February's result was 59% (blood being ejected through the left ventricle with each heart beat), and this time it was 44% - and therefore they have suspended my Herceptin treatment for the moment. She said that I would be referred on to a cardiologist just to be on the safe side, as my blood pressure is also higher than usual. I mentioned that last week it was 133/56, and today it was 135/90. I am normally consistent at 120/70 or thereabouts.
I will probably be recalled for a further heart scan in 2-3 months time and they'll then see whether I can be put back onto the Herceptin.
I have to admit, I fell slightly to pieces at this news. Possibly the thought that I was having every treatment possible is one of the things that has been keeping me going. That one of my 'just in case' treatments will be withdrawn/curtailed, I feel like an insurance policy has been invalidated. I want everything they have got to be thrown at this cancer.
I have been reassured that the Tamoxifen will do its job (reducing the risk of recurrence) and that Herceptin is just an 'extra' and not entirely proven, but if that were the case, why would they even bother with it? I'm not stupid... However, I am taking heart in the knowledge that there is a current trial looking at whether 6 months of Herceptin is enough, and that a full year doesn't actually give any significant benefit. These trials take years to run and apparently they are finding it hard to recruit to this one (who is truly willing to take the chance on fewer treatments if the trial shows it isn't enough?). Lets hope it shows that it is enough. I may yet get put back on it, if, after 2-3 months a further scan shows that my heart has recovered.
I know this is quite common, but I just feel so disappointed.
I am hoping that me having started running again won't have contributed - surely me getting fitter should help my heart, not push it too far? Mum and Dad (hello!) want me to cancel walking the 13 mile walk. I will talk to my GP tomorrow about it, and will ask the cardiologist when I get the referral through, but I honestly feel absolutely fine and don't think that my heart is seriously damaged - just slightly more compromised than normal. If I had only 6% higher reading, I would be within the 'normal' range.
The only benefit I can see at the moment is that the appointments won't get in the way of work and other commitments! Hhmmmmm.
And the results? Not good. :-(
February's result was 59% (blood being ejected through the left ventricle with each heart beat), and this time it was 44% - and therefore they have suspended my Herceptin treatment for the moment. She said that I would be referred on to a cardiologist just to be on the safe side, as my blood pressure is also higher than usual. I mentioned that last week it was 133/56, and today it was 135/90. I am normally consistent at 120/70 or thereabouts.
I will probably be recalled for a further heart scan in 2-3 months time and they'll then see whether I can be put back onto the Herceptin.
I have to admit, I fell slightly to pieces at this news. Possibly the thought that I was having every treatment possible is one of the things that has been keeping me going. That one of my 'just in case' treatments will be withdrawn/curtailed, I feel like an insurance policy has been invalidated. I want everything they have got to be thrown at this cancer.
I have been reassured that the Tamoxifen will do its job (reducing the risk of recurrence) and that Herceptin is just an 'extra' and not entirely proven, but if that were the case, why would they even bother with it? I'm not stupid... However, I am taking heart in the knowledge that there is a current trial looking at whether 6 months of Herceptin is enough, and that a full year doesn't actually give any significant benefit. These trials take years to run and apparently they are finding it hard to recruit to this one (who is truly willing to take the chance on fewer treatments if the trial shows it isn't enough?). Lets hope it shows that it is enough. I may yet get put back on it, if, after 2-3 months a further scan shows that my heart has recovered.
I know this is quite common, but I just feel so disappointed.
I am hoping that me having started running again won't have contributed - surely me getting fitter should help my heart, not push it too far? Mum and Dad (hello!) want me to cancel walking the 13 mile walk. I will talk to my GP tomorrow about it, and will ask the cardiologist when I get the referral through, but I honestly feel absolutely fine and don't think that my heart is seriously damaged - just slightly more compromised than normal. If I had only 6% higher reading, I would be within the 'normal' range.
The only benefit I can see at the moment is that the appointments won't get in the way of work and other commitments! Hhmmmmm.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Depressed and tanned?
Don't worry, I'm not depressed. But according to one work colleague she is amazed that I am not, and seems to be waiting for it to hit me! I won't say who it is that has said to me "But aren't you depressed?" because she really does mean well and is a lovely person, but lets just say in her job, she ought to know better than to say things like that! No. I'm not depressed. I am thrilled to be alive and well.
I am so alive and well that I have started running again. I am on 'lesson 4' of the Running Trainer 5k program that I'm following on my iPhone - totally started from scratch, and I very much need to. It's a 'run one minute, walk one minute, run 2 minutes, walk 2 minutes etc' program, and it is hard going, which shows that I have gone back to zero fitness through all of this. But I will get it back again, and at the moment I am enjoying trying!
She also said to me that I must talk to X, another person at work who has recently had a lot of time off due to cancer treatment but is now back at work (who, like me, is looking so well and so tanned! [said as if we shouldn't be allowed in the sun, should be locked inside hiding under a duvet watching daytime TV!]). I was aware of this person, but I don't know her, so we should get to together to talk about cancer? Hmm, fun. Sorry, but if I get together with her it will be to talk about books, journals, how I can support her teaching. She has probably been made to feel like a malingerer because she tooks some months off, whereas I didn't. I have been fortunate (although, as Richard Hammond said on the programme about head injury with Stirling Moss, on BBC Four last night, exactly how 'lucky' is it to get thrown from a car at 200mph and land on your head?) not to have been terribly unwell throughout the treatment, but I know it makes some people very sick indeed and they are not malingering!
Everyone also says to me, that surely my positive attitude has something to do with it? I am not convinced it really does. Every time I have started a new treatment, I have sat back to wait for the side effects to hit. And they haven't, or at least, not that hard. But I was expecting them, I wasn't ignoring them. I wasn't being brave or pretending to be well. I have gone with whatever my body feels.
Take last saturday, for instance. We went over to Greg's house (yes, he still hasn't called a plumber to arrange to get central heating fitted, I know, I know) to tidy up the garden and my back got sore from bending too much whilst weeding. I didn't feel very hungry, my back hurt, I fell asleep in the car on the way home. I went to bed for over an hour when I got home. I don't often nap in the afternoon, but I really properly slept. I didn't feel so well on Sunday and didn't eat much again - I think I must have been fighting off the stomach bug that hit Greg a week ago. So, I didn't feel well and I stopped doing anything, I rested. And I am better now. See, I do listen to my body, and it looks after me.
The good thing is, I have lost a couple more lbs, so I am heading back to my pre-chemo weight! Yay!!!
That's my rant for the day over with. Tomorrow, I have an appointment with Dr Iqbal. I am expecting to find out about my follow-up regime, and want to ask about timescales for reconstruction ops. I am doing stomach crunches in case the TRAM flap is a sensible option for me - you need decent stomach muscles but get a tummy tuck as well as a new boob! Not entirely sure about the pros and cons of the various types of operation they do yet, but would like to have choices!
More tomorrow.... xxxx
I am so alive and well that I have started running again. I am on 'lesson 4' of the Running Trainer 5k program that I'm following on my iPhone - totally started from scratch, and I very much need to. It's a 'run one minute, walk one minute, run 2 minutes, walk 2 minutes etc' program, and it is hard going, which shows that I have gone back to zero fitness through all of this. But I will get it back again, and at the moment I am enjoying trying!
She also said to me that I must talk to X, another person at work who has recently had a lot of time off due to cancer treatment but is now back at work (who, like me, is looking so well and so tanned! [said as if we shouldn't be allowed in the sun, should be locked inside hiding under a duvet watching daytime TV!]). I was aware of this person, but I don't know her, so we should get to together to talk about cancer? Hmm, fun. Sorry, but if I get together with her it will be to talk about books, journals, how I can support her teaching. She has probably been made to feel like a malingerer because she tooks some months off, whereas I didn't. I have been fortunate (although, as Richard Hammond said on the programme about head injury with Stirling Moss, on BBC Four last night, exactly how 'lucky' is it to get thrown from a car at 200mph and land on your head?) not to have been terribly unwell throughout the treatment, but I know it makes some people very sick indeed and they are not malingering!
Everyone also says to me, that surely my positive attitude has something to do with it? I am not convinced it really does. Every time I have started a new treatment, I have sat back to wait for the side effects to hit. And they haven't, or at least, not that hard. But I was expecting them, I wasn't ignoring them. I wasn't being brave or pretending to be well. I have gone with whatever my body feels.
Take last saturday, for instance. We went over to Greg's house (yes, he still hasn't called a plumber to arrange to get central heating fitted, I know, I know) to tidy up the garden and my back got sore from bending too much whilst weeding. I didn't feel very hungry, my back hurt, I fell asleep in the car on the way home. I went to bed for over an hour when I got home. I don't often nap in the afternoon, but I really properly slept. I didn't feel so well on Sunday and didn't eat much again - I think I must have been fighting off the stomach bug that hit Greg a week ago. So, I didn't feel well and I stopped doing anything, I rested. And I am better now. See, I do listen to my body, and it looks after me.
The good thing is, I have lost a couple more lbs, so I am heading back to my pre-chemo weight! Yay!!!
That's my rant for the day over with. Tomorrow, I have an appointment with Dr Iqbal. I am expecting to find out about my follow-up regime, and want to ask about timescales for reconstruction ops. I am doing stomach crunches in case the TRAM flap is a sensible option for me - you need decent stomach muscles but get a tummy tuck as well as a new boob! Not entirely sure about the pros and cons of the various types of operation they do yet, but would like to have choices!
More tomorrow.... xxxx
Friday, June 4, 2010
A third of the way through
Yes, go on, admit it. You thought I was all done and dusted, didn't you? Chemo is done. Radiotherapy is done. Yeah, Ok, so I'll be on Tamoxifen for at least 5 years but that doesn't count, does it?
Well, sadly, I am not all done just yet - but I am a third of the way through my Herceptin treatments. That means I have had 6 of the 18 treatments. I still have to go to hospital to have them. I have to have a cannula in my hand and sit there for half an hour while it drips through. (and the rest of the time waiting for the nurses to be ready for me and to remove the needle at the end). Every three weeks, until next February.
The good bit is that there aren't any immediate side effects, so I walk in, get it done, walk out and then forget about it again for another three weeks until I go "Oh! That time again!" and off we go.
It feels good to be a third of the way through, it feels like progress. The 6th was delivered last Wednesday.
Today, I had my 3rd MUGA heart scan. Just to remind you, these are to check that the Herceptin hasn't damaged the heart in any way. It checks to see how much blood is pumping through. This time, the needles didn't want to go into my elbow, so one went into my hand (you have two: tin and radioactive fluid). And then, under scan, the tin was all staying in my arm instead of heading to my heart to show up under in the picture! I had to hold it above my head to give it a bit of help! They also took my blood pressure this time - they don't normally - and it was 133/56 which seems a bit odd (as far as my very limited knowledge tells me, the first number is on the higher side, and the second on the lower side - so maybe that means I am normal?) To be honest, I think there probably was some 'white coat hypertension' going on as they took it just after messing about with needles, so I was probably a wee bit tense!
Results next week, when I see Dr Iqbal on Tuesday.
I keep getting asked whether I have had the "All Clear" yet. So will you allow me to educate you on that one? There is No. Such. Thing. I am learning this as I progress. There is only 'No Evidence of Disease', apparently. I will always live with the worry that it will come back - same place, other boob, somewhere else, and I have to hope that it doesn't. My cancer was gone immediately that I had surgery, so if you like I was 'all clear' from that moment onwards. The chemo and the radiotherapy and the tamoxifen are just there to mop up any stray microscopic cells that might go on to settle elsewhere and multiply. We hope that it has killed them all, and that the tamoxifen keeps any loose ones at bay.
One more positive news, I have now gone out in public a few times without any hat or wig. The wig got ditched about two weeks ago when I had a moment on a Monday morning where I was dreading having to put it on for work. So I didn't. I wore my hat instead. This week has been so hot, and my hair is thinly coming along, so I have gone bare. My grey hair looks very distinguished (I like to think)! I took some photos last week (click the photo to see the slideshow), but it has grown a little since then.
Well, sadly, I am not all done just yet - but I am a third of the way through my Herceptin treatments. That means I have had 6 of the 18 treatments. I still have to go to hospital to have them. I have to have a cannula in my hand and sit there for half an hour while it drips through. (and the rest of the time waiting for the nurses to be ready for me and to remove the needle at the end). Every three weeks, until next February.
The good bit is that there aren't any immediate side effects, so I walk in, get it done, walk out and then forget about it again for another three weeks until I go "Oh! That time again!" and off we go.
It feels good to be a third of the way through, it feels like progress. The 6th was delivered last Wednesday.
Today, I had my 3rd MUGA heart scan. Just to remind you, these are to check that the Herceptin hasn't damaged the heart in any way. It checks to see how much blood is pumping through. This time, the needles didn't want to go into my elbow, so one went into my hand (you have two: tin and radioactive fluid). And then, under scan, the tin was all staying in my arm instead of heading to my heart to show up under in the picture! I had to hold it above my head to give it a bit of help! They also took my blood pressure this time - they don't normally - and it was 133/56 which seems a bit odd (as far as my very limited knowledge tells me, the first number is on the higher side, and the second on the lower side - so maybe that means I am normal?) To be honest, I think there probably was some 'white coat hypertension' going on as they took it just after messing about with needles, so I was probably a wee bit tense!
Results next week, when I see Dr Iqbal on Tuesday.
I keep getting asked whether I have had the "All Clear" yet. So will you allow me to educate you on that one? There is No. Such. Thing. I am learning this as I progress. There is only 'No Evidence of Disease', apparently. I will always live with the worry that it will come back - same place, other boob, somewhere else, and I have to hope that it doesn't. My cancer was gone immediately that I had surgery, so if you like I was 'all clear' from that moment onwards. The chemo and the radiotherapy and the tamoxifen are just there to mop up any stray microscopic cells that might go on to settle elsewhere and multiply. We hope that it has killed them all, and that the tamoxifen keeps any loose ones at bay.
One more positive news, I have now gone out in public a few times without any hat or wig. The wig got ditched about two weeks ago when I had a moment on a Monday morning where I was dreading having to put it on for work. So I didn't. I wore my hat instead. This week has been so hot, and my hair is thinly coming along, so I have gone bare. My grey hair looks very distinguished (I like to think)! I took some photos last week (click the photo to see the slideshow), but it has grown a little since then.
I've also got some more eyebrow and eyelash growth, and whilst camping last week, Verity (a former professional make-up artist) gave me a lesson in how to make up my eyes as I have hated them looking kinda 'blank'. It is definitely helping, and I am feeling a bit more like 'me' everyday.
We've had this week off work and have done: Westermill camping (Friday to Monday, including Greg being very sick on Sunday night/Monday) - ; visit to Exeter; Herceptin and sorting out camping gear; trip to St Davids; heart scan and visit to Cardiff city/Bay and house/car cleaning). Tomorrow, we are off to Greg's house to tidy it up a bit, and Sunday...? Sleep probably! Back to work on Monday...
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Sunshine and camping
Just one more radiotherapy to go, and I don't know whether tiredness is going to kick in anytime soon, but I suspect not. Yesterday, I was up at 8am and went for a run (back to beginner training again), walked into town for a few bits and pieces, got stuff ready for camping and then woke Greg up!
We went down to Cockwood, near Dawlish Warren, just for one night with Luke and his girlfriend Charlotte and stayed at Cofton Country Holiday Park. It is really nice campsite, and was a walk away from one of Greg's favourite pubs, the Anchor Inn, which sells his favourite beer, Otter. We sampled a few pints and I had a nice baked camembert and a fish pie, before we headed back to the campsite and a short visit from Greg's mum.
This morning, I woke early again and made the tea, while Greg slept and Luke and Charlotte packed up their tent to head off to another social engagement. After a sausage sandwich brekkie, we soon followed, going via Greg's dad's to say hello, and then to Darts Farm to buy a couple of crates of bottled Otter to take camping next weekend at Westermill.
The sun has been baking hot all weekend, so I have had my hat on, factor 50 suncream on my upper half, and a scarf tied around my neck and draped over my shoulder so that my radiotherapy side does not get burnt. The radiotherapy will make it ultra sensitive to sunburn for the rest of my days now, but it will be particularly sensitive early on, so I have to be very careful with it.
I have found some 'secret support' vests from M&S which fit my 'comfy' boob (the one I was given after surgery, which is like a mini-pillow) as I find my regular prosthetic boob is too big now. It matched originally, but my real boob has deflated in recent months - as my oestrogen levels have dropped, I guess - and it looks odd now. The vest tops can be worn in the summer and I think, look quite nice. If you're looking, or if I bend down, you can tell that I have no boob, but it isn't obvious to most casual observers and I'm not ashamed. When I went running, I didn't wear any prosthetic at all, I was just lopsided!
This afternoon, it has been too hot to do anything much. Greg has had to go to work to make sure his network comes back on after a scheduled power outage, I have unpacked all our camping things and put a couple of loads of washing on, and caught up on some iPlayer and 4oD TV programmes.
My last radiotherapy is tomorrow morning - I have bought the nurses a cake from Darts Farm - and I have a 4 day week before 8 days off. This of course means the weather is going to break. We can't have it all, can we?!
We went down to Cockwood, near Dawlish Warren, just for one night with Luke and his girlfriend Charlotte and stayed at Cofton Country Holiday Park. It is really nice campsite, and was a walk away from one of Greg's favourite pubs, the Anchor Inn, which sells his favourite beer, Otter. We sampled a few pints and I had a nice baked camembert and a fish pie, before we headed back to the campsite and a short visit from Greg's mum.
This morning, I woke early again and made the tea, while Greg slept and Luke and Charlotte packed up their tent to head off to another social engagement. After a sausage sandwich brekkie, we soon followed, going via Greg's dad's to say hello, and then to Darts Farm to buy a couple of crates of bottled Otter to take camping next weekend at Westermill.
The sun has been baking hot all weekend, so I have had my hat on, factor 50 suncream on my upper half, and a scarf tied around my neck and draped over my shoulder so that my radiotherapy side does not get burnt. The radiotherapy will make it ultra sensitive to sunburn for the rest of my days now, but it will be particularly sensitive early on, so I have to be very careful with it.
I have found some 'secret support' vests from M&S which fit my 'comfy' boob (the one I was given after surgery, which is like a mini-pillow) as I find my regular prosthetic boob is too big now. It matched originally, but my real boob has deflated in recent months - as my oestrogen levels have dropped, I guess - and it looks odd now. The vest tops can be worn in the summer and I think, look quite nice. If you're looking, or if I bend down, you can tell that I have no boob, but it isn't obvious to most casual observers and I'm not ashamed. When I went running, I didn't wear any prosthetic at all, I was just lopsided!
This afternoon, it has been too hot to do anything much. Greg has had to go to work to make sure his network comes back on after a scheduled power outage, I have unpacked all our camping things and put a couple of loads of washing on, and caught up on some iPlayer and 4oD TV programmes.
My last radiotherapy is tomorrow morning - I have bought the nurses a cake from Darts Farm - and I have a 4 day week before 8 days off. This of course means the weather is going to break. We can't have it all, can we?!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Walk the Walk
The time for me and my wonderful friends to Walk the Walk is nearly here. We are walking a half marathon - with a bra on - for breast cancer research and causes, on 4th July.
If you feel like donating, please go to our fundraising page:
http://www.walkthewalkfundraising.org/teamflora
Particpants of Team Flora are:
Me :-)
Greg Lovell
Charlotte Adams
Hannah Wilson
Yvonne Willingham
Claire Delaney (and possibly others from the Delaney clan)
We are called Team Flora as it is a moniker I use on some internet forums I chat on, friends from which have been amazingly supportive, and some of whom are walking other Sun and Moonwalks around the country. Honestly, the internet can be amazingly supportive and powerful sometimes. I am extremely grateful for all of their support.
If you feel like donating, please go to our fundraising page:
http://www.walkthewalkfundraising.org/teamflora
Particpants of Team Flora are:
Me :-)
Greg Lovell
Charlotte Adams
Hannah Wilson
Yvonne Willingham
Claire Delaney (and possibly others from the Delaney clan)
We are called Team Flora as it is a moniker I use on some internet forums I chat on, friends from which have been amazingly supportive, and some of whom are walking other Sun and Moonwalks around the country. Honestly, the internet can be amazingly supportive and powerful sometimes. I am extremely grateful for all of their support.
Rads #10 done. 5 to go...
Hi blog fans
I have now had 10 of my 15 radiotherapy treatments and all is going well. I have a square of 'tan' where my boob used to be, and my shoulder is slightly red, but at the moment it is not sore - just a little itchy occasionally. I'm feeling a little bit tired, but not significantly. It certainly isn't stopping me doing anything and Greg is helping with the long drive (45 mins to work in the morning, 1.5 hours from Gloucester to Cardiff in the afternoon, and 45 mins home again - occasionally with an extra trip to and from Bristol thrown in for good measure).
The nurses are really lovely and we have a chat and a joke each time I go, and I'm getting better at getting into position correctly without too much need for them to adjust me, now.
If you're interested in seeing how it all works, I have found the video below which shows you (click on the picture to play):
Otherwise life is ticking along nicely. My hair is slowly getting thicker - Greg tells me that every day it looks a little darker, although it seems a lot more grey than it was before! It still isn't thick enough to go wig or hatless, but it won't be too long before I do.
It feels like my eyebrows and eyelashes have thinned slightly more, and quite a few of my fingernails are trying to escape - 4 have lifted from the nail bed, but only the top half of the nail has separated, so they are all in place and it looks like they will just grow out. I am covering their slightly strange look with dark nail varnish! This is a side effect of the chemo, delayed due to the slow growth of the nails.
I also have some itchy patches on my arms and neck, so will mention that when I go to the GP's on Thursday. It might be a side effect of the Tamoxifen (or maybe the Herceptin), or it might be entirely unrelated! Who knows.
Nearly at the end of the major treatments now. Will find out what happens next when I see Dr Iqbal in June.
I have now had 10 of my 15 radiotherapy treatments and all is going well. I have a square of 'tan' where my boob used to be, and my shoulder is slightly red, but at the moment it is not sore - just a little itchy occasionally. I'm feeling a little bit tired, but not significantly. It certainly isn't stopping me doing anything and Greg is helping with the long drive (45 mins to work in the morning, 1.5 hours from Gloucester to Cardiff in the afternoon, and 45 mins home again - occasionally with an extra trip to and from Bristol thrown in for good measure).
The nurses are really lovely and we have a chat and a joke each time I go, and I'm getting better at getting into position correctly without too much need for them to adjust me, now.
If you're interested in seeing how it all works, I have found the video below which shows you (click on the picture to play):
Otherwise life is ticking along nicely. My hair is slowly getting thicker - Greg tells me that every day it looks a little darker, although it seems a lot more grey than it was before! It still isn't thick enough to go wig or hatless, but it won't be too long before I do.
It feels like my eyebrows and eyelashes have thinned slightly more, and quite a few of my fingernails are trying to escape - 4 have lifted from the nail bed, but only the top half of the nail has separated, so they are all in place and it looks like they will just grow out. I am covering their slightly strange look with dark nail varnish! This is a side effect of the chemo, delayed due to the slow growth of the nails.
I also have some itchy patches on my arms and neck, so will mention that when I go to the GP's on Thursday. It might be a side effect of the Tamoxifen (or maybe the Herceptin), or it might be entirely unrelated! Who knows.
Nearly at the end of the major treatments now. Will find out what happens next when I see Dr Iqbal in June.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Rads #1 done. 14 to go...
My first radiotherapy session went well today. The staff were very friendly, as always, and we had a chat about what was going to happen and tips about skin care before I was taken to the machine. I asked about what the planning session does, and the radiographer showed me an image from my CT scan. They use the scan to identify the edges of the breast tissue to make sure that the radiotherapy targets all of the former boob area, and also the neck area to get any remaining lymph nodes.
When they deliver it, you lay on the bed and the machine moves above your head and to your side. You have your arms above your head, but held in arm holders and they wiggle you into position to make sure that you are positioned absolutely correctly. I could see the lasers they use to line you up reflected in the metal of the radiation arm!
Apparently, I can expect to get a couple of 'sunburn' squares on my chest, and tiredness, but apparently most people don't get these until at least the third week.
Today took about 40 minutes in all, but tomorrow should be much quicker now that all the forms have been signed and information given. In, zap, out.
Oh, and the work conference? I'm not really sure I got the point of it....
When they deliver it, you lay on the bed and the machine moves above your head and to your side. You have your arms above your head, but held in arm holders and they wiggle you into position to make sure that you are positioned absolutely correctly. I could see the lasers they use to line you up reflected in the metal of the radiation arm!
Apparently, I can expect to get a couple of 'sunburn' squares on my chest, and tiredness, but apparently most people don't get these until at least the third week.
Today took about 40 minutes in all, but tomorrow should be much quicker now that all the forms have been signed and information given. In, zap, out.
Oh, and the work conference? I'm not really sure I got the point of it....
Monday, May 3, 2010
The day before I go nuclear
It's nearly time for the radiotherapy to begin - tomorrow at 5pm. Eek. I am sure it will be a non-event, but I am also sure that I will be slightly anxious tonight and won't quite sleep properly.
Before I go there tomorrow, there is a conference at work for all of us over a certain grade. We have to bring an object that demonstrates how we feel about the university now, and how we want to see it in the future (the conference is titled "Future Focus"). I think some people are planning on bringing in joke dog poo for the former... I have not worked there long enough yet to be so cynical, and think the staff there are very lucky to be employed by them. I see it is more paternal - and in the future it'll be a slightly thinner father!! How do I take in that as an object? !!
This week, I had my latest Zoladex injection and BOY did it hurt! Admittedly, it is only sore for a short while, but it was certainly sore. I'm now having it every 3 months, which means the needle is bigger and leaves a hole behind. The nurse patches it with a plaster, but there is always a spot of blood leaking through... I now just have a slight bruise.
I have now made it to the end of my first box of Tamoxifen, and can say that the side effects of that are: sweatier nights (and therefore more disturbed as I am hot one minute, cold the next - bigger extremes than before), and an itchy rash that came up on my neck last weekend. It stayed for a couple of days, then calmed down, and is back today although not as itchy as it was originally. I think it is the Tamoxifen causing it - some others on the cancer forum think so. I'll keep an eye on it.
I am also very impressed by the nurse at the GP's surgery. I went in for my Zoladex and also asked for them to add the Tamoxifen on a repeat script. I had only just thought about this as I was coming to the end of the box I got from the hospital, and realised I'm not going to be seeing the oncologist again until the beginning of June! Even though they haven't had a letter from him asking them to prescribe it, she took my word for it (and I produced my copy of the original hospital script), added it to my file and gave me 6 months prescription. They get held at the pharmacy and you just pop along and collect the next box when you are ready - this makes sure there isn't any waste, should you have a bad reaction and get taken off them.
I'll be back at the doctors in two weeks time, this time to look at contraception. At risk of sharing too much, but I had obviously come off the pill a while ago to try for babies. I am now not allowed to get pregnant for a while (and certainly not while still having herceptin or radiotherapy treatment), so we need to use some precaution. It is not advised that you have any contraception that contains hormones, especially as my cancer was responsive to both oestrogen and progesterone.
o The pill - hormones = no.
o Implant - hormones = no.
o Mirena coil - hormones = no.
o Diaphragm - fiddly = no.
o Condoms - fiddly and desensitising = no.
o Copper coil/IUD - no hormones = yes.
I have to have a chat with the doctor before she'll fit it, but seeing as the usual side effects of a coil are heavy periods, and I have none at all at the moment, then it should be straightforward (I hope!). Such excitement to look forward to [emma rolls her eyes!].
Righto, I'm off now to Charlotte's to celebrate her birthday, so I'd better put my face on and wrap her present!
Will try and wrestle the laptop off Greg tomorrow and update on how the first rads sessions goes.
Before I go there tomorrow, there is a conference at work for all of us over a certain grade. We have to bring an object that demonstrates how we feel about the university now, and how we want to see it in the future (the conference is titled "Future Focus"). I think some people are planning on bringing in joke dog poo for the former... I have not worked there long enough yet to be so cynical, and think the staff there are very lucky to be employed by them. I see it is more paternal - and in the future it'll be a slightly thinner father!! How do I take in that as an object? !!
This week, I had my latest Zoladex injection and BOY did it hurt! Admittedly, it is only sore for a short while, but it was certainly sore. I'm now having it every 3 months, which means the needle is bigger and leaves a hole behind. The nurse patches it with a plaster, but there is always a spot of blood leaking through... I now just have a slight bruise.
I have now made it to the end of my first box of Tamoxifen, and can say that the side effects of that are: sweatier nights (and therefore more disturbed as I am hot one minute, cold the next - bigger extremes than before), and an itchy rash that came up on my neck last weekend. It stayed for a couple of days, then calmed down, and is back today although not as itchy as it was originally. I think it is the Tamoxifen causing it - some others on the cancer forum think so. I'll keep an eye on it.
I am also very impressed by the nurse at the GP's surgery. I went in for my Zoladex and also asked for them to add the Tamoxifen on a repeat script. I had only just thought about this as I was coming to the end of the box I got from the hospital, and realised I'm not going to be seeing the oncologist again until the beginning of June! Even though they haven't had a letter from him asking them to prescribe it, she took my word for it (and I produced my copy of the original hospital script), added it to my file and gave me 6 months prescription. They get held at the pharmacy and you just pop along and collect the next box when you are ready - this makes sure there isn't any waste, should you have a bad reaction and get taken off them.
I'll be back at the doctors in two weeks time, this time to look at contraception. At risk of sharing too much, but I had obviously come off the pill a while ago to try for babies. I am now not allowed to get pregnant for a while (and certainly not while still having herceptin or radiotherapy treatment), so we need to use some precaution. It is not advised that you have any contraception that contains hormones, especially as my cancer was responsive to both oestrogen and progesterone.
o The pill - hormones = no.
o Implant - hormones = no.
o Mirena coil - hormones = no.
o Diaphragm - fiddly = no.
o Condoms - fiddly and desensitising = no.
o Copper coil/IUD - no hormones = yes.
I have to have a chat with the doctor before she'll fit it, but seeing as the usual side effects of a coil are heavy periods, and I have none at all at the moment, then it should be straightforward (I hope!). Such excitement to look forward to [emma rolls her eyes!].
Righto, I'm off now to Charlotte's to celebrate her birthday, so I'd better put my face on and wrap her present!
Will try and wrestle the laptop off Greg tomorrow and update on how the first rads sessions goes.
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